Pump Up Song of 2015

I turn 25 a week from Thursday & I have a lot of feelings about it.

 

#feelingsfeelingsfeelings

 

On the bright side, I am lucky enough to be spending a large chunk of next week in California. Ariel: keeping me sane since 2011.

 

Part of that weekend will be spent celebrating & honoring lost loved ones (including Bryan) by doing good things for the world (specifically children in pediatric hospitals). I’m intentionally being vague because I am so excited to write a post about it later.

 

I have been asked to help build the playlist for the event by sending in songs that Bryan loved or that remind me of him. I think that is a beautiful idea and I’ve been having a lovely (and emotional) time remembering all the songs that we used to listen and dance to. I’ve found it pretty cathartic, because listening to these songs brings me back to specific happy memories with him.

 

I thought that you guys might like to contribute.

 

So please, if you’d like, post a comment with a song that Bryan loved or reminds you of him. I’d love to hear the story connected to it if you’d like to share.

 

Here are a few of my picks:

 

Constructive Summer by The Hold Steady
We loved this song. There’s a line in it that says “All my friends who aren’t dying are already dead” and Bryan would comment *every time* how he thought this was a “shower thought”. As in, a deep thought that comes when you are thinking about life in the shower. He would say that as he continued to drum out the beat on the steering wheel with his hand.

 

 

Spinners by The Hold Steady 

This was our song. When we first started dating Bryan sent me this song and said that every time he heard it he thought of me riding the subway. I haven’t listened to it fully since Bryan passed away. When the first few seconds play I instantly start to tear up. If it starts to play on shuffle I literally say, “NOPE” and hit next. I’m not ready yet.  

 
You Can Make Him Like You *and* Your Little Hoodrat Friend *and* basically every song by The Hold Steady

We didn’t have any plans for New Year’s Eve. I assumed we would just stay in for the evening. But a few hours before I got off work, Bry texted me that The Hold Steady were playing in Brooklyn and asked if I wanted to go. OBVIOUSLY YES. So I got off of work & rushed home.  We ordered delivery Thai food. Ate it as quickly as possible. Drove to Williamsburg & watched our favorite band play. It was the best New Year’s I’ve ever had.

 

 

No Tomorrow by Orson 

Bryan used to make me control the music when he drove. This was extremely stressful since he was so picky about his music. One day I was whining about feeling too much pressure to put on a good song and he said “Play ‘No Tomorrow’. You’ll like it.” As always, he was right. 

 
Cruise (Remix) [Feat. Nelly] by Florida Georgia Line

Bryan used to blast this song: windows down, scream/singing and rapping every word. He had this very specific face when ever he was rapping. I have this vivid memory of him singing this while we were trying to find parking at  Anna’s to get burritos.

 

 

I Hear The Bells by Mike Doughty 

This is the song that plays in Veronica Mars when Logan professes his love to Veronica. YEP. No shame. Bryan was adamant that we watch all of Veronica Mars, & when we lived together for a summer we watched every single episode. Bry always made fun of me for being a “shipper” which essentially means that I’m obsessed with/overly invested in the relationships of television characters. He’s not wrong.
It plays in the background while Logan says,

“I thought our story was epic you know….spanning years and continents… lives ruined, blood shed. Epic”

….

“No one writes songs about the ones that come easy”
We just loved it. And I played this song on repeat all winter as we drove around Cambridge in the snow. 

 

 

Rather Be by Clean Bandit

We called this the Pump Up Song of 2015 and every time we got in the car before going out somewhere Bry would turn to me and say “Pump up song of 2015?” and then we’d just belt it out. 

 

 

Stand By Me by Ben E. King

I remember driving home from a doctors appointment that didn’t go as well as we had hoped it would. This song came on and we just sat quietly holding hands while it snowed outside. This song just feels like our relationship to me. 

 

 

Wagon Wheel by Old Crow Medicine Show
This song reminds me so much of Bryan. He used to sing it while we were in the car. He would describe this as a perfect song to be outside, on a warm night, drinking a beer with friends. This song played near the end of Jeremy and Kelsey’s wedding reception. I started to cry and Caitie picked me up like a koala bear. Like you do. It just made me feel like he was saying, “Hi”.

 

 

Werewolf Bar Mitzvah from the 30 Rock Soundtrack

One time Bryan and I played this song on repeat and danced (like monsters) around my apartment *in silence* for almost an hour. Yes, really. #Romance

 

 

<3