Hello Sweet Humans, Happy New Year! It’s been a while. How are you? I hope you’re doing better than “well”. I hope you’re fantastic and amazing and passionate and firey and all the good things all at once.   I’m writing to you from an airplane.   Witchcraft. (( Question: How long can you be […]

One year ago I posted this blog for the first time.   When the little “memory” notification popped up on my phone I started looking back on this whole experience.   I remember when the decision was made to actually follow through with this. It was my first night back in NY after over a […]

Today is the anniversary of the worst day. Today marks the last “first”. Today marks one year without Bryan Max Bernfeld. It’s weird because every other milestone day had some sort of happy memory associated with it. Some sort of moment that we could miss or look back on fondly. Something that I wished to revisit in […]

Today would have marked 3 years together. Last year, on our second anniversary, Bryan planned the perfect day. We rode in swan boats, we watched Bones, we went to a Red Sox game—all the best things in life. He wasn’t feeling the best. Honestly, I am sure he probably felt like absolute shit. But we did so many things and just […]

Today, like every day, I miss my best friend. Today, like every day, I remind myself that this is a marathon not a sprint. I remind myself that it’s okay to have moments that feel like time is standing still & that I am moving backwards.   A few weeks ago MK came to visit. We […]

Dear Frans,   It’s been a while.   I had two back-to-back days off of work, a luxury that I had been looking forward to after a long week of painfully early mornings.   Once Friday actually rolled around I found myself too tired to move, let alone check anything off of my to do list. […]

It’s been 6 months since Bryan passed away. 6 months without my favorite person on Earth. 6 months without someone’s son, brother, nephew, and friend. 6 months since the world got a little less bright.   It’s not an exaggeration to say Bryan was the best gift to my life.  I’m pretty difficult. I’m stubborn, blunt, kinda crazy, absolutely neurotic. […]

Liz said something to me a few days ago that really resonated with me.   “You don’t get to choose the kind of suffering you have. You get to choose how you suffer.”   In context she was responding to physical pain, but I thought it was a really perfect sentiment for the entire week.   Monday, January […]

Two very loved celebrities passed away this month from cancer. I know that a lot of my dear friends have taken this very hard.  I know plenty of beautiful angels  who were deeply effected by the loss of David Bowie and Alan Rickman. Two gentleman who helped shape the course of their lives.And, if these losses have touched […]

Hi, my name is Jessie and New Year’s Eve  kicked my ass.   *Hi Jessie*   Thanksgiving and Christmas were emotional roller coasters, but both were still enjoyable and manageable. ((I’ll post about those adventures soon.)) So that is to say  when NYE came I thought I could breeze by and treat it like any other day. […]